


If It Were The Other Way Around You'd Be The Same

by Bobbadopolous



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Non specific Mentions of abuse, Non specific Mentions of self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 11:17:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9321116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bobbadopolous/pseuds/Bobbadopolous
Summary: Ignoring for a second week three spoilers:  Aaron gets a visit from Ed and Robert tries to cope (but in a cute way)





	

Aaron was just collecting up his keys and wallet on his way to meet Robert at the café when his mum poked her head around the door to the backroom.

“You’ve got a visitor Love,” Chas said with a look that Aaron couldn’t quite interpret. Was it concern, was it amusement or some weird combination of the two… it didn’t matter because as soon as he saw the man standing behind her all other thoughts left his head.

“Ed,” Aaron said confusion evident on his face and in his voice, “Hi… uh…” he struggled to find the right words to continue but eventually gave up and resigned himself to open mouthed staring and awkward fidgeting. 

“Is that any way to greet a mate?” Ed asked. His tone was, as usual, easy-going but he hung back in the doorway uncertain.

The two lads stood staring at each other for a moment Aaron too shocked to say anything and Ed suddenly trying to remember why he’d thought this was a good idea.

“Right then,” Chas said reminding them of her presence, “Well I’m going to go… bar to run and all that.” Then, noticing that Ed wasn’t moving from the doorway she grabbed him by the shoulder. “You in, me out,” she said pulling him through the doorway before retreating to the bar.

“So…” Aaron said finding his voice only to lose it again. It had been a year since he’d last spoken to Ed and that had only been out of desperation. He struggled to think how long it had been since they’d last stood face to face. 

“So…” Ed echoed.

“What are you doing here?” Aaron asked, the question born purely of curiosity. There was no sting in the words, no unspoken accusation.

“I was in the area,” Ed said keeping his reply intentionally vague. In truth he had travelled over two hours out of his way to have this conversation … the conversation he was now second-guessing.

Looking Aaron up and down Ed was relieved to see that he looked good… better than he’d imagined he would, given what he’d read the last time he’d cyber stalked him. Not in the creepy, obsessive way an ex might usually stalk their ex but in the genuinely deeply concerned after receiving a very cryptic phone call that he couldn’t quite shake kind of way.

Aaron attempted to nod nonchalantly as though he’d always considered he and Ed to be the type of mates to drop in unannounced on each other for no particular reason. In truth he wished they were. 

He still missed Ed sometimes, not in a romantic sort of way…their relationship had never really sizzled… but in that way he had of breaking Aaron out of a bad mood with his relentless positivity and his refusal to see Aaron as broken. Life with Ed had been simple and fun… right up until it hadn’t been anymore.

“Brew?” Aaron asked desperate for something to do, “…or beer?”

“Beer would be great,” Ed replied relaxing a little as it became obvious Aaron wasn’t going to chuck him out on his ear.

Aaron retrieved two bottles from the fridge, opened them both and handed one over to Ed. Their fingers touched briefly without even the hint of a spark.

“Cheers,” Ed said taking a swig before placing the botte back on the table a look of determination on his face.

Aaron braced himself.

“So Aaron,” Ed said so gently it hurt. 

Ed wasn’t gentle with Aaron, understanding - yes, patient – yes but not gentle. He never made Aaron feel less than whole, easily broken or prone to shattering. In that moment with nothing more said Aaron knew what this was about. He closed his eyes and with a small sigh resigned himself to the conversation about to take place.

 

“When you called me…”

And there it was… the confirmation Aaron was waiting for but didn’t need.

“Yeah about that,” Aaron said determined to take control of the conversation, “I was in a bad place then but it’s over with now.”

Ed stared at Aaron for a while evaluating him or his reaction or both before he finally spoke again.

“Yeah… you look good.” There was nothing seedy about the comment, no undertones of lust or want. There was only relief in the words. Whatever empty shell Ed had expected to find when he came looking for Aaron he was glad he hadn’t found it.

“I am good,” Aaron said and he was surprised himself that it wasn’t a complete lie.

“It explained a few things for me,” Ed said and it was clear by the way he spoke that he knew he was shaky ground, “not about you…” he hastened to add, not wanting Aaron to think that the new information changed how he saw him “… but … about Paris.”

Aaron hadn’t really expected that, hadn’t expected Ed to remember that one night out of all the nights they’d spent together.

“Things were never really the same for us after that,” Ed continued picking up his beer just so he could nervously pick at the label until it started to peel.

Aaron didn’t know what to say to that… partly because he hadn’t really put the two things together before now. At the time Aaron hadn’t allowed himself to acknowledge the impact his abusive past was having on his present because he refused to acknowledge the abuse itself. But that one bad night had led to a continuous bad feeling he hadn’t been able to shake and hadn’t been willing to identify.

It wasn’t Ed’s fault – he had been as he always was, a gentleman – but an unfortunately timed surprise and a couple of ill placed hands and suddenly something had been bugging Aaron. The little passion they’d had before then soon dwindled and died.

“You might be right,” Aaron admitted, “but I didn’t know that that’s what it was.”

Ed gave a small nod, “I hope I didn’t make you think you couldn’t talk to me… not that it’s about me, I know that…”

Aaron chuckled softly- it was little more than a breathy sigh really - there was something incredibly endearing about someone as together as Ed stuttering.

“Ed it wasn’t you,” Aaron reassured him and he was reminded once more how comfortable he’d always felt talking to Ed, “I wasn’t even ready to admit it to myself yet.”

Ed nodded in acknowledgement before silence settled between them, both men deeply entrenched in their own thoughts.

“I’m sorry I pushed you away,” Aaron said finally and he was. He wasn’t sorry that they’d ended it, his love for Robert only proved to show what he and Ed had lacked. But he was sorry if the way it had ended had left Ed confused and hurt.

Ed looked surprised and mortified, “I’m the one who should be apologising, if anything I did reminded you of…”

Ed couldn’t finish the thought and Aaron really didn’t want him to. Instead Aaron reached out a hand to rest against Ed’s which immediately stilled against his beer bottle.

Ed looked down at the hand on his own but his eyes were drawn to something beyond. 

“That’s new,” he said and at first Aaron thought he was referring to the engagement ring on his finger before he remembered it was off at the jewellers being resized for the wedding. When he followed Ed’s line of sight it was settled upon something entirely different.

Aaron’s shirt sleeve had rolled up revealing the ugly scar on his arm. Aaron made no move to cover it, he didn’t have to in front of Ed. Ed had been one of the first people he’d told about his self-harming and he’d done so without being found out or tattled on.

Aaron nodded taking a good look himself, “yeah it nearly killed me but it also saved my life.”

Ed looked as though he was going to ask a follow up question but he was interrupted by the door to the pub flying open.

“Aaron we said two o’clock…” Robert sounded exasperated as he entered the backroom freezing when he saw Aaron sitting there holding hands with a man he didn’t recognise, quite obviously in the middle of a deep conversation.

He had a fraction of a second to decide how he was going to react because demon Robert was rearing his ugly head and he had to decide now whether he was going to reel him in or let him fly. He decided on the former sauntering into the room with as much forced nonchalance as he could muster. He probably wouldn’t fool Aaron but he could at least intimidate the mystery man with his swagger.

“Robert,” Aaron said surprised by the sudden interruption before remembering where he was meant to be at that exact moment, “Shit…sorry I got caught up.” Aaron quickly withdrew his hands from Ed’s while Ed watched on in interest.

Robert, meanwhile, was busy giving the new guy an appraising look. Robert supposed he could be mistaken for handsome in the right light, his clothes were definitely designer which he was determined to find non-threatening and he appeared to be way too at ease with Robert’s fiancé. There were only a handful of people Aaron looked that comfortable with and most of them lived under this roof so who the hell was this guy?

“Robert meet Ed,” Aaron said answering Robert’s unspoken question, “Ed this is Robert.”

“The fiancé,” Robert said forcing a smile and reaching out to grasp Ed’s hand a little too tightly. Remembering that Ed was a pro rugby player Robert thought he might live to regret the decision but Ed just squeezed his hand with a polite amount of pressure and Robert hated him for it.

Ed’s face seemed frozen in a friendly smile as he said to Aaron, “Yeah I hadn’t got the chance to congratulate you yet.”

“Not been here long then?” Robert asked hoping his tone sounded light and disinterested.

Aaron gave him an amused look before hiding his smirk behind his reclaimed bottle of beer.

“Just a few minutes,” Ed assured him genially.

“Well maybe we should take this reunion into the pub hey?” Robert suggested attempting to sound friendly, “Get a few rounds in.”

“I’d love to,” Ed said, “But I should get going. I was just in the neighbourhood and thought I should drop in.” He shared a knowing look with Aaron and Robert just wanted to wipe it off his face with the back of his hand.

“It was good seeing you Ed,” Aaron said softly and Robert could tell that he meant it.

“Yeah you too,” Ed replied, “look after yourself.”

Aaron nodded gently in reply and Robert could see it. The love and the history that stretched between the two other men was obvious to him now. He could imagine whispered conversations lying in bed, lips covering lips and fingers digging into hips. But it wasn’t just sex these two had shared, Robert thought that would’ve been easier to accept, there was also a deep affection there that was much harder for him to stomach. Especially when Aaron and Ed moved to give each other a departing hug.

It was brief and innocent but it was like a dagger to Robert. He tried to gain control of his facial expression so it didn’t show, he hoped he was successful.

When Aaron and Ed parted Ed turned to Robert.

“It was…uh… good to meet you,”   
By the way Ed said the words Robert knew he hadn’t managed to fool anyone.

Robert nodded determined to play the game until the end, “you too. Have a safe trip.” 

Ed took it all in his stride and with a final nod of his head to Aaron he was gone.

Aaron was quiet for a while, lost in thought.

“Nice to see an old friend,” Robert said purposefully playing down the nature of their past relationship.

“Yeah,” Aaron said and it sounded kind of sad to Robert.

“Did he want anything in particular?” he pried trying to get to the root of Aaron’s suddenly glum mood.

“Just a long overdue conversation,” Aaron said cryptically.

“Do I get to know what about?” Robert asked but there was no pressure in the words. Of course he hoped Aaron would tell him but he’d never force him to.

Aaron shook his head, “not right now,” he said looking up into Robert’s eyes for the first time since he burst in the room, “right now I want to go have lunch with my fiancé.”

Robert knew a pivot when he heard one but he like the direction the conversation had taken so he decided to roll with it.

“Mmmm… or we could forgo lunch and stay right here,” Robert mumbled his lips against Aaron’s ear.

“What’s got you all hot and bothered hey?” Aaron asked a knowing smirk on his lips.

“I’m always hot and bothered, you know that,” Robert replied feigning ignorance.

“So this has nothing to do with a certain good-looking ex showing up then?”

“He’s not that good looking,” Robert said before he could stop himself.

“Not as good looking as some,” Aaron replied taking pity on him.

Robert wound his hands around Aaron’s waist and attempted to draw him in closer but Aaron put his hands up to Robert’s chest stopping him in his tracks.

“Just lunch,” Aaron said softly but he didn’t pull away completely, “…for now anyway.”

“Everything alright?” Robert asked concerned.

“Yeah just a little bit of history,” Aaron said quietly hoping that would be enough of an explanation. His short memory session with Ed hadn’t taken him all the way back but he could feel himself teetering on the edge of something and he didn’t want to push it right now. 

“Nothing to worry about,” he assured Robert when he saw he still looked concerned.

“Well then,” Robert said to lighten the mood, “let’s go see a man about a sarnie.”


End file.
